by John Sammon
Do you have a mother who at times has made it seem like she enjoys twisting the knife? You know, the mother who at times has made your life miserable, taught you guilt, shame, degradation, and who you now blame for all your personal defects…low self-esteem, a penchant toward masochism, feelings of worthlessness, insignificance, a feeling of no matter what you do in life…….you’ll always be eight years old…to her.
Let’s be up front and honest. With Mother’s Day approaching on May 14, some of us have mothers with whom at times we have been at odds.That’s if I put it gently. Another way to say it is, the MOTHER FROM HELL!
Usually not all of the time; just some of the time that’s the case.
The image we all have of Mother’s Day is giving thanks for all the kindness, love, sweetness, loyalty, caring, support and confidence Mom has instilled in us, and, well, a lot of us know the at-times less palatable truth. Instead sometimes it’s been a case of put-downs, taunting, anger,stupidity, and vicious contempt.
Nothing is perfect in this world.
Is your mother a Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde?
Sometimes she can seem warm and loving, and other times rubbing your nose in it making you feel so insignificant, as though if you could rise to the level of zero, you’d be something more important than you are now. Remember you would be nothing without her, but empty air. She went through the pain of giving you birth, and she brought you into the world, and you are nothing but a mere extension of her and when she wants your opinion….she’ll give it to you.
Give this woman a MemoryTag card for Mother’s Day.
Remember, this is the woman who when you were a teenager and your father built you a chin bar out in the back yard (two wooden posts in the ground with a horizontal pipe), and you couldn’t do one chin-up, not even one, and you made the mistake of being honest and telling your mother.
She had responded in a sickly whiny voice while washing the dishes, “I would have thought my own son could do at least one chin-up. My son (faking like she might cry), can’t even do one chin-up.”
Welcome to guilt, shame.
You go back out and try to do a chin-up. You can’t do it.You start attempting to lock your legs around one of the two wooden support posts and scale that. No luck.
Finally later, after days, days after trying again and again, you successfully do a chin-up. You rush in the house to tell your mother. “Don’t bother me!” she yells. “I’m on the phone.”
Now you’re grown up, but nothing has changed.
You’re at dinner with your mother, father, and various relatives. You’re doing an imitation of Winston Churchill which is unusual because usually you are silent like a good boy should be even though you’re 49 years old. You have the group’s attention with your imitation and for a moment they’re amused, but your mother, who is in the kitchen serving the after-dinner pie, is not pleased. She views your little act as a threat to her grand entrance serving everybody the pie she worked so hard to bake. You’re stepping out of line being too much of an individual.
The rest of the group who all outrank you in her eyes, for a moment you have their attention and they’re listening to you as though you were a human being in your own right, and not some inert brainless possession.
You don’t know you’re proper place and when to shut up. You need to be put back in your proper place.
She comes into the dining room with the pie on a tray and in front of the others loudly says to you with a bogus smile hiding her anger, “Are you done? Are you done?”
Making out like it’s a joke, when it isn’t, and she and you both know it isn’t; it’s a veiled threat that translated says without actually saying it, “Will you shut up you stupid nincompoop (obscenity deleted) and let everybody praise me and my pie?”
Obediently, you shut up. You’re a good boy now. You know your proper place again.
Buy this woman a MemoryTag card for Mother’s Day.
Or how about that time you had a political opinion one of your relatives didn’t like at the dinner table and the relative went ballistic and flew into a rage (he had been drinking), and made an ugly public scene in front of visitors, and you felt your insides crushed, but like a good boy you stared down at your meal instead of flinging a steak in his face and storming out the door?
The next day your mother whom you were visiting, when referring to the previous night’s ugliness said, “If you don’t like it, you can go home.”
You should have said, “Oh no..no no no.. I love abuse, I really love it. I want more, from alleged family members. Here, I’m going to bend over and paste a card on my butt that says, “Kick Me Here Hard!”
Instead, you eat it, the go-home insult, swallow it; say nothing. Once again, you’re a good boy (or girl depending)
How can you repay such kindness?
Buy a MemoryTag card.
You download the MemoryTag app, take your smartphone and record a video message of greeting. Then you place the video on the small patch on the MemoryTag Mother’s Day Card. Your mother, if she downloads the app, can open the card and play back your video on her smartphone.
You say something like, “Dearest Mother, because of you, I’m who I am today (don’t say a troubled alcoholic schizophrenic). This is for all the things you have done for me, and all the things you have done TO ME! (don’t specify what). If I could sum you up in one word it might be….Love…. (don’t say twisted,contemptuous love).
How can I repay you?” (don’t say what you’re really thinking).
You get the gist of this. For more information go to https://memorytag.cards/